She stops dead in that moment and is suddenly present and realizing, "Well, this is stupid, what good is this gonna do to help me get away from this
It's like the moment sanity hits her and she takes action against the predator.
Imagine that scene, only take out the loud screaming and the muttering and turning in circles, and instead of a literal slap across the face, imagine a phone call that does the same thing. No hello, no nice introductions, just a stern, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING. STOP THIS NONSENSE. Get yourself up out of this black hole you have put yourself in to and get on with living.
This friend of mine doesn't call often anymore. We used to speak daily, lots of texts and some emails years ago, but now once in a while I will get a call or text that is so well-timed in my life it is frightening. I have always believed we are on the same wavelength, connected in a metaphysical type of way... like a lost sibling, or real life soul mate.
From no one else would I get a text that simply says, "You are not broken," and have it be like a message from Heaven, perfectly timed, in direct response to one of my out-loud prayers for meaning.
This phone call was the slap across the face I needed to wake me up.
See, unlike in movies or on television, we thankfully don't have literal monsters hunting us down to kill us. But we have our minds. And if we let those minds get so focused on one obsessive thought that replays over and over, and congers memories of other like thoughts, that act of ruminating can keep you stuck. Stuck in a whirlwind of "what if's" and "what could have beens" that play over and over and become bigger by the day, and can totally overcome our ability to live. Our hearts ache, we cry, we stop eating, we wander, we try to sleep, we over-think, we over-feel... until THANK GOD, we get a wake up call.
What do you think you are doing? Stop it. Just stop it.
"I have only a minute to tell you this, so listen." And within that minute, he manages to stop my tears and make me laugh. Breathless with laughter of how my imagination has certainly created a scene so entirely impossible, and how funny the reality of it all probably is. He turns demons into clowns, visions of perfection into hilarity, spins the whole messed up story in my head a whole different direction. I hadn't thought of it that way.
"So quit this shit and get on with living." All I could mutter was "thank you."
It took some guts for him to call me, ya know. It sure would have been a whole lot easier to leave the fitful woman alone to work through her own issues. I wonder, how did he know that was the key moment? Not quite sure, but thank God for him. Thank God for all my friends and family who love me that much.
I believe that we all could use a good wake up call once in a while. Like a smack back into reality, that motivates us to face the monster and fight.
And so this is how I am going to live. It doesn't matter which way the whole story has played out in reality, who did what to whom, or what they are doing now... because my life is here, in my hands. I have stopped spinning, stopping crying, and stopped wasting my energy on others I could not and cannot control. I am DONE.
For what is in my control? Only my actions, my reactions, to the life I have right in front of me.
Day one, of moving on.