Thursday, November 18, 2010

Random Thoughts on Love

Bear with me here as I sort out some random thoughts on the topic of love; "love" being in reference to, in this instance, "partner love."

First just a note of background. If there is one thing I have managed to pretty consistently fail at doing, aside from 100-mile races, it is the enduring love relationship thing. Depending on how you look at my track record, you could see this as a negative -- or, you could look at it as a series of lessons I have learned, which now I can apply to and perhaps finally succeed at accomplishing.

One positive, I am a mature woman now, in the years-living category at least. With that age comes experience, knowledge -- a possible benefit over those just starting out in their twenties. To some men, a mature woman knows how to treat him right. (Hmmmm. That sounds promising.) But please understand that this blog entry is in NO WAY trying to communicate that I am some pro at this loving relationship thing. I'm not. Experienced doesn't mean credentialed. Keep that in mind when you read this *opinion piece*!

On to the random thoughts on the topic of LOVE:

  • I do not think that human beings were meant to live alone. I think partnering is natural and wonderful. Of course we can all use some alone time, especially when recovering from a recent heartbreak, or setback in life. I just think in general we are meant to love a partner more closely, more intimately than anyone else.
  • Saying "I love you" is a life-giving statement. I have learned, however, that words are empty when they are just said and not backed up by action. Say AND show your love.
  • Just because you are "in LOVE" and feeling that warm, happy, "nothing can touch me" shield around you doesn't guarantee life will be stress-free. In fact, count on it to be stressful. Feel confidence in that your person was chosen by you as the one to share both good and bad times.
  • I have learned that a partner should be protected from bearing the brunt of your internal pain at all costs. If this hurting does happen, and happens often, it takes a whole lot of time (and effort, and love, and forgiveness) to heal, if it ever heals at all.
  • Be able to say the words, "I am sorry" genuinely. Don't care what outsiders think, what do they know about your sorrow?
  • Once an apology is accepted by you, make your heart accept it. Move on, move past it. Otherwise it can erode slowly over time until your love falls away.
  • Forgiveness is a truly progressed sort of love. It is the right thing to do when there is genuine remorse. Even the "best" folks make mistakes.
  • Try and view "little" irritations as they are: of little importance overall.
  • Before you put being right as your first priority, think about the possible long term effects. You may be "right" or you may "win" the argument -- but you could end up alone and right.
  • Pride is a sin for a reason.
  • "Cover" your partner at all costs. If there is a spray of gunfire, cover him. Protect her.
  • Stabilize instead of stress. When all else falls down around your partner, you want to be the ones still standing.
  • Cherish your partner.
  • Physical intimacy can be awesome. Making love is even more awesome. Strive for the latter.
  • Realize the gift you have been given by God, no matter the road he/she took to get to you. Accept that blessing with thanks and vow to feel blessed every day of your life.
  • If you are in a season of life that finds you without a partner, please try to not despair. You can find love all around you if you look for it -- in the eyes of your children, your family, your friends, your pet friends, sometimes even your colleagues. Lean on them during this time. Let them love you! And be open to a new start (or re-start) when it finds you.
This world today is so full of anger, and pride, and bitterness. Why contribute to that? Why not lead with love every day?

Hold on for dear life, and don't ever let go.


  1. You write beautifully and so heartfelt. I so totally relate and agree with your comments. Keep it up!

  2. Your title captured it all for me. Random and love. Well written.

  3. I have heard an excellent definition for love:
    Love is a demonstrated preference for the well being of others,
    over and above myself, even at great personal expense,
    with the help of the Holy Spirit.
    I wish you well, cousin. You are beautiful :)