________________________________________________________ May 21, 2011 -- Judgment Day...
...And I am sitting on my couch, ready to cut my grass? Why bother. In fact, the litterbox really doesn't have to be clean, nor do the dishes in the sink. Whomever is left behind in this hellish world can do them for five months. In fact, I am certainly sure that dealing with this cat Cairo, as I have since October, is some sort of hell on earth which I pre-paid. So good luck, whomever is left to deal with it -- cuz the cat is not going to heaven today for sure!
Granted, this post is more tongue-in-cheek than my other posts. And I hesitate writing it, thinking it even, because it feels blasphemous. Bear with me here, though, because I feel this needs to be said.
I was raised in what I thought was a religious household. I was taught to fear God and that I was sinning if I broke any of the Ten Commandments. Not ever in my young life was I told to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, so I guess no matter how "religious" I was, I wasn't prepared to be saved anyhow. Even now, with all the new Christian beliefs I have begun to consider and even to live, it may not be the exact right amount that today I will be chosen to leave for Heaven.
I have a lot of questions. I just learned about this Second Coming coming today, recently. I thought it was going to be 2012 because of the Mayan calendar end or something.
Why is it today exactly, May 21st? I have tried to do a little internet research on how this date was calculated, and after all the formulas blurred my vision I gave up and said, okay, whatever. I was never good at math anyhow. Somehow this is 7000 years after the flood and it is the second biblical month and you add a year, or something, and come up with today, May 21st. Then five months later is the actual end of the world. Or wait, maybe today will be MY end of the world. But I won't know that until 6 p.m. I guess. Please don't even ASK me how they figured 6 p.m.!
But seriously, one thing I think I have learned over my lifetime is that God is NOT a punishing God. In fact, He promised not to punish us again, after the flood. This was His big apology, right? "I won't ever do that again, it was a terrible, bad mistake." So why does anyone believe that there will be such a devastating earthquake at 6 p.m. today, so "massive" and beyond our wildest nightmares that those not chosen will be left to riot and pilfer and ache for five months, taunted by the grace of Jesus -- but not ever be able, after today, to accept that grace? I thought that God would always accept my plea for forgiveness? Suddenly, after today, He won't?
Then again, how do I know, maybe I have done enough to be saved? Jesus will save those who truly believe in God, while "shunning" those who have ignored his love. These "saved" people will be brought to Heaven from Earth in an instant by Jesus himself. Those left behind will suffer the torment of the Apocalypse for 5 long months until the End of the World on October 21, 2011. (It figures that the world is ending on MY 45th BIRTHDAY. I will never qualify for Boston now, I was banking on those extra 10 minutes!) But anyhow, so maybe I will be saved? I have been good ... enough. Relatively speaking anyhow. Look at all the bad people of the world, I am nothing compared to THEM. Surely THEY will be left behind in torment while I will be carried away by Jesus today.
So, I have decided that the grass can wait to be cut. (I can't start the mower anyhow.) I will clean the litterbox and the bathroom, just because it is the right thing to do no matter who is left behind to tend my home. I have a lot of questions still, and there is no one to ask. I am looking at my dog Baylee, playing with the damned cat, listening to the loud traffic of the four-way stop outside my window thinking this might be some kind of small torment already. Alone in my box-of-a-house with the muddy basement, I should put it in to perspective, right? I used to think that torment was living in a neighborhood that housed fake smiles! THAT compared to a neighborhood where no one uses the sidewalks, but walks down the middle of the street in a pack of guys wearing hoodies. Are we sure that the rapture didn't happen last October? I'm not convinced.
Thankfully, at noon I am leaving to go to one of my favorite places on earth, to do one of my favorite things, with some of my favorite people. I am going to Mohican State Park to run trails with some crazy friends, people I love. I may as well be doing something I love, that makes me happy, at the moment of the great earthquake. I do feel bad that I won't be with my daughters, but I am positive they are the Chosen and will be judged correctly for the innocent loving souls they are, and have been, all their lives. I know for sure they are the only things I did right in my life... and maybe, just maybe, that alone will earn my place in Heaven. Just in case it isn't, and all my life I had a chance to say "I accept Jesus as my Savior" and didn't say it exactly right, I want you to know, girls, that I love you. With the totality of my heart, I love you, unconditionally and forever.